✧ ✧ ✧What do elephants have for lunch? A half-hour, like everyone else.✧ ✧ ✧First elephant: “I hear you’ve been tracing your ancestors on the internet.” Second elephant: “Yes, and it’s a mammoth task.”✧ ✧ ✧Husbands will be husbands... A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.‘What was that for?’ the man asked.The wife replied ‘That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket’.The man then said ‘When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on’ the wife apologized and went on with the housework.Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.Wife replied... ‘Your horse just phoned’✧ ✧ ✧Before and after marriage... Girl: “When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.” Boy:. I'm lucky that a previous owner had paid for the cottage to be connected to mains water, electricity and gas and that they had also had the phone line placed underground. All this meant that my home had all the comforts of the 21st Century, but the charm and character of the 17th.It was one of those warm spring days, the ones that hold a promise that summer is just around the corner. I was sitting on the beach, my bare feet wet from walking through the surf a book open beside me as I lay back and savoured the warm Sun. Laying there I watched the clouds playing chase with the Sun, seeing fairy castles and dragons in fluffy shapes.Stretching I sat and retrieving my book settled down to read."Hi"The voice made me jump, as it brought me back to reality, looking up I saw a young woman standing in front of me."Sorry, did I make you jump?" It's OK, I was miles away" Do you mind if I sit down"I smiled and shook my head as she lowered herself to the sand beside me."I'm Megan" Hi, I'm Phil".
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